Ever been rejected?

How have you experienced rejection recently? At home? At a relationship? At work? At job interview? Relax, you are in good company, so have I and many others.

People have different ways of responding to rejection, for example, 1) Exhibit the ‘I don’t care’ attitude, 2) Withdraw from everything, 3) Cannot say no, hoping to change mind of ‘rejecter’ and  4) Becoming dramatic.

I have been rejected time and time again but I have learnt the art of dusting myself and trying one more time. I remember times when I would go for interviews and all looked so promising. Only to end up with a rejection letter. That in itself would get me wondering why they rejected me. I would have loved to know the exact reasons but there is no one to offer those details even when I requested the feedback. On one such venture, I interviewed for a job and was to get back feedback after two weeks. Lo and behold, on my way home, still stuck in traffic, I happened to check my email, and there it was! These guys didn’t even wait an hour or a day to break the news! I felt really bad to point of tears. I probably would have taken it easier had the rejection come after the stipulated two weeks.  I hindsight though, I was glad for the rejection because the company started going under and was bought off, with many employees being sent away. Talk of all things working together for good!

Few ways you can handle rejection are:

  • Have an appropriate and reasonable grieving period. You are going to feel upset because of a rejection, and that is allowed. It is therefore healthy for you to give yourself some to time to process and grieve. However, ensure that you do not go overboard and spend days sitting in the house wallowing in your misery and throwing pity-parties. That will only make you feel worse in the long run.
  • Talk to a trusted friend or family member as it may help.This is not to say you get free rein to shout your pain about the rejection from the rooftops. This will only tell that you are dramatic and can’t handle life. The friend you want is the one who will tell it to you straight. They can help you sort out what went wrong and can also make sure that you stay on track with your grieving period so that you don’t start losing it. Avoid airing your cry on social media. That information might just turn up to up potential next employer. Don’t complain too much,  otherwise you’re going to sink into a state of depression. Do not always talk about your rejection every time you are talking with other people
  • The earlier you accept the rejection and attempt to move on from it, the easier a time you’re going to have. If you get do not get that job you were really hoping for, allow the appropriate time to be upset and then let it go. Start looking for something else, or examining what you could change for the future. It’s good to keep in mind that when one thing does not work out, something else usually will and usually in a way you did not expect.
  • Do not take rejection personally.Remember that the rejection says nothing about you as a person. Getting rejected is part of life and it is not a personal attack. Rejection is not your fault as such. The other person (or people) was rejecting something particular that did not work for them. They were rejecting the request, not you. Remember, they cannot reject you as a person because they don’t know you. They are rejecting a situation that does not work for them. Respect that.
  • You need to get your mind off the rejection after the grieving time by doing something else. It may not be wise to get back to work on whatever it was that was rejected. That simply implies you are still dwelling on the rejection. You need some space and time from it. Doing something fun can be a great way to get your mind out of the rejection and to help you other focus.

You see, you cannot let rejection bring your life to a halt! Why? Because you are going to have lots of instances of rejection in your life (everyone does). By moving on with your life and doing other things, you will not let rejection run (or ruin) your life.

Rejection is not a great thing and sometimes it feels unfair but you should not permit it to take away your happiness. The reality of life is that rejection will form a part of it. There will be occasions when your job application, your relationships or your ideas will be rejected by someone.

It is a healthy attitude to accept that rejection is a part of life and to acknowledge that what really matters is finding the way to bounce back and try again. You can summon all your strength to move on, one day at a time.

Our greatest successes are often found in those things that hurt us the most. So step out, tell your story, and inspire others to tell theirs.

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